She chose the path that seemed less traveled.
She came to many forks in the road.
She made a wrong turn, once, twice, three, too many to count.
She lost her way of direction for some time.
But with her eye on True North she kept tracking through and finally decided to make her own path.
Sometimes you need to trail off the path and make a new one.
Because only then, was she able to see where the rest of her journey would lead her.
Recently I have been asked, Where do you see yourself in five years? Answer? -didn't really have one.
Certainly I know what I want out of my life, I know that I have goals, but in all honesty, there is so much that can happen in five years that it's impossible for me to wrap my head around it to say. Pondering over this question has me asking myself over and over: What am I going to be doing five years from now? So many of us feel lost in this world, simultaneously many of us know what we want and yet don't concentrate on that goal hard enough we trail off the path.
If you would have asked me that same question five years ago I would have had a solid answer. But now, I feel time is so delicate and goes by in a blink of an eye, that to do everything I want is going to take abysmal concentration, development, persistence, and discipline. I was told by the inquirer to evaluate on that a little and come back with an answer next week.
As a result, this got me to making a mental list of all the things I would like to accomplish and/or be in road to the next five years:
All of these are greatly achievable if I stay on my path.
Lately I've been telling myself to think more positively.
I tend to go in wishing things will go right but always default to preparing for the worst. I need to stop doing that! The power of positive thinking is so strong that if you go into every situation, good or bad, know that you are going through it for a reason. This too I have always been a strong believer of.
I'm at an age where I need to seriously hone down and focus. Set milestones to where I want future Natalie to be! I know what I want, the problem here I guess has been to have that someone, to keep me on track on getting there. But then, there's that double edge sword - I have been asked that question before but no one has necessarily made me keep to my word of path.
The person who asked me this recently, not only wants to know, but I can see that they want to help me get there. Just how they are so open about their goals and their dreams, and the path they know they have to take to get there is tough, but it's there! With much discipline and concentration on that goal they ARE going to get there! Knowing that, once I come up with a straight answer, they will help me along the way to my goal oriented path.
It's funny to think that we have turned into a generation of instant gratification. There are so many people that are no longer patient. In results to this, myself included, us wanting to reach those goals can see it as nearly impossible, and can't get there quick enough, hence end up settling for what we can.
However, those that do fall, and pick themselves up for the millionth time, are the ones that know they are meant for greater things. With that patience, and the drive for their own success, they will get there. I, will get there.
To quote Brian Adams:
"Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragment and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success"
Butterflies in your stomach. Cheesy ass smile across your face. Major feels about the person - this my fellow readers are signs of being sprung.
Yup I said it, I'm sprung. Don't know how this happened, well I do but that's beside the point. You never know who's going to come into your life and give you the unexpected. As you are well aware from my previous dating entries, which seemed to be going nowhere, I believe I have found the diamond in the rough. The peanut to my jelly, the cheese to my macaroni, and to quote The Little Rascals, "He melts me like a Popsicle stick on the 4th of July". Ha ha, but in all seriousness I think I may have found my match.
I was at the point of forgetting about the dating life because I was so over all the f*ckery. Then, he slipped into my DM with a unique way to start the conversation. From there, exchanged numbers and started to get to know each-other better.
Come first date/meet-up. Didn't give me a choice really as to whether or not I was able to meet on said day, but instead said with a confident, "I'll see you tomorrow Nat". Family timing lead to things not working out as planned BUT did end up meeting on said day. (He later told me that he thought I wasn't going to show up and flake, due to our conversation leading up to the meet up.) Needless to say we hit it off right away. He opened up in a way I have never experienced for someone opening up until maybe a few months knowing eachother. This immediately grew my attraction. Who is this man? Is he for real though? Yes, very much real, real since day one. We talked about our hopes, dreams, goals, family and came to find that we share many of the same qualities and have the same drive for what we want. That in itself said so much. To me, nothing is more attractive than a man who knows what he wants, and not only that but goes for it, and IS working towards it.
I've always been the one in the relationship to push my counterpart to do more. Go for the things they wished out of their life, careers, etc. Granted I had the support to pursue my dreams and goals but neither of them have ever pushed me to go for it in the extent I needed to be pushed. This is what this man does for me, he compliments me where I can't myself. Having someone who understands you need to do what it takes to get where you want with your goals, is one of the biggest support systems you can have.
Yes this is still all very new, and these feelings are for sure the first time butterflies of a new relationship forming. Can't say what's going to happen down the road, but things are going well so far and for sure as hell I'm going to enjoy it!
Deep big mystery.
Calling to me, in the depths of the deep blue sea.
Stroking me with the current of her waves, the salty breeze and the ever so soothing sound of crashing water to rock.
She calls to me.
I belong near her you see, drifting with the summer waves, crying and throwing tantrums in the winter storms. Reaching that one area where everything is calm, just floating amongst the current, at one with she.
She calls to me.
Being my peace and serenity, I come to her in times of need, times I need to find patience, and times I just need to sit there a be- hearing the sound of the sea.
She calls to me.
Like the siren that pulls you in, except without crashing into the rocks, you see, instead you become one with the sea.
She calls to me.
Let me be one with the ocean breeze, the sea that so calls to me. In my time of reflection, good and turmoil, she calls to me, that beautiful deep blue sea.
I feel sick to my stomach.
What is this feeling?
Nerves? Pressure? The stir of The Force telling me something big is coming.
It's not the first time I'm overwhelmed by such feelings.
It's a state of limbo.
The mind can be a dangerous thing to be left alone with.
Sometimes we channel these feelings into action, so that we can take time to find our peace of mind.
Patience is a virtue. Yet reading the signs around you makes you open your eyes and see the things you would have missed, even with your eyes wide open.
Believe in your gut, trust that in doubt, things always tend to work themselves out.
We just have to open our eyes a little wider to the signs.
Dating Rules. Are there any anymore? The past few years, the dating scene makes it much more difficult to figure out if you're in the beginnings of a potential relationship, or in for another roller coaster ride that makes you throw up at the end.
One example of such dating, is reaching that awkward moment, where you're both (or just one party) is still talking to other people. Due to you two not having the "we're in a committed dating relationship" conversation and or mutual agreement, leaves open windows of potential jealousy, clinginess, and a whirlwind of emotional confusion. Telling yourself, you don't want to get attached, yet you can't help the feels. Therefore singing the endless tune that all men and woman are the same, following with statements of-
-constantly blaming the other party. But what if, because of this constant awkward scenario, those of us, who are actively looking for a relationship, can't seem to find someone to commit?
Come on Millennials, we're adults, most of us have a handle on adulting; I mean, we share it with a hashtag to prove so!
HA!!
Nevertheless, in all seriousness, if we like someone, shouldn't we just come out and say it? Put your hands to their face, look them in the eye and whisper, "I'm in like with you." Maybe not in that literal sense, but be vocal about having feelings for that person, and only that person.
Much of this is caused by a dilemma that has come to be called serial dating. Stop serial dating! Emotions just get thrown everywhere that way. As a consequence of such serial actions, we find ourselves in the same dating slump as before.
I admit, I am guilty of serial dating; and as personal analysis-still single because of my serial actions. Although, I have realized my own personal rationale (during the time of my crimes) for participating in this murderous habit:
Horrible I know. -*Palm to face*- However, what I have concluded from my serial dating crimes, when I am genuinely into a guy, I don't want to be dating anyone else. My full focus is on them, I want to know all I can about them. When time permits, I want my time to be spent with them. That's how I know-it's real.
Trust me, as a woman these emotions are sometimes hard to control so you don't come off looking like a total clingy psychopath. Woman, we can be a little extreme sometimes. Thus, we play it cool, give the men their space; still at the same time, let them know, in the simplest of ways, that we're thinking about them. Added bonus points, is when you-our attracted counterpart- let us know you're thinking about us too.
To reiterate what I said about dating rules, there really aren't any. I know there are countless articles on how to go about making him/her like you. "make them yours". The truth is, when two people are attracted to each other, rules don't apply.
These two people become patient, like surfers waiting for the perfect set. They sit on their boards, waiting patiently so that they can ride it out together. Sure there will be wipe-outs, broken boards, and board rash, but if they pull you right back out of your wipe-out, maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to ride the wave out to shore.
2017. Social media is still on the rise, Snapchat filters, #FOMO is still in effect, era of selfies, #squadgoals and #BAE. Speaking of BAE (before anyone else) for those of you still out of the "hip" lingo; finding your BAE now a days is a tad bit more difficult than before.
Based on personal experience and just seeing what friends of mine in the dating scene have had plenty of headaches of, let me share some background...
Now we have apps and websites to help people like myself find "the one". But what these apps have also created is an open window for hookups, f*ckboys, the unwanted d*ck pics, men/boys thinking it's okay to leave shivery a thing of the past. I'm not saying that all these men are the same, however, I feel because you are hidden behind a phone and or computer screen, you kind of get straight to the point. But, once you do find someone who isn't a complete creep, make conversation and make plans to meet up, they either:
A) never follow through
B) turn out to be a completely different in person than they portray themselves on the app
C) You two actually hit it off but then eventually, one of you gets Ghosted (when you cut off communication with someone with no explanation or reasons)
Making the whole headache of dating in 2017 feel like a complete waist of time. You delete the app(s) for a few weeks or so, get bored and go through the same headache all over again; telling yourself that this time it's going to be different and you're going to be extra picky and filter your selections more heavily. Because, at the end of the day, when we tell ourselves I'm better off being single and doing me, we still want that someone. Let's face it, it's interesting to see what kind of people find us attractive as well.
As mentioned before, this has happened in my own 2017 dating life. It's frustrating as hell! Coming out of a four year relationship and putting myself back out there is hard. At this point of my life I am looking for someone to eventually marry. I know this is not going to happen over night, let alone may not even happen with the first man from these sites I end up dating. But, that is my ultimate goal! I want a partner who has goals, loves his family, wants to grow with me, be a gentlemen, and most importantly someone I can see making memories with for hopefully, the rest of my life. That's not too much to ask for, is it? I know woman aren't innocent in all this either, there are some questionable actions from both sexes.
In conclusion, I will be sharing my dating stories from time to time. To give you a few laughs and to just give you examples as to how dating, for a Millennial such as myself, can be a real pain in the ass. Until next time, have a beautiful day everyone! And to quote Ellen Degeneres, "Be kind to one another."
Father's Day since 2008, has since been bittersweet. My father past away when I was 18 years old. When that day came, I felt my whole world falling apart, my worst fear coming true. No one in life can prepare you for the pain of losing a loved one, even more so, a parent.
However, throughout the years, when the second Sunday in June comes around, I am grateful to have known my father, and to have many memories to look back on. I miss him every day, and it never really get's easier, you just learn to live with the memories and the time you spent.
Time is a fickle thing and many of us don't take advantage of the now. We are constantly looking into the future, not taking time to take a look around us and see the wonderful things that one day, we will wish to have back, just for a little time longer.
My biological father may be gone, but he is still and will always remain in my heart. I am also lucky to have another man in my life to call Dad. Before my father passed away, my family was blessed to have another father figure in our lives. He has constantly supported us, provided for us, and in his own corky way, shows us how much he cares. Being the step in, not replacement, for the father that I lost. And for that, I am forever grateful.
I understand not many families or people feel the same about step-parents. Although in my case, I just know that my father is smiling at us from that big cloud in the sky, thanking my step-dad for everything he is doing for us.
Happy Father's Day to all the father's around the world! Those that kick ass for their families and without a doubt let their loved ones know how much they care.